The Great Aunts Ride Again

Today on the stairlift farm the snow is deepening as I write. The frozen tracks of yesterday's journeys up, down and around the stairlift farm have frozen overnight into glacial footprints which are now rapidly filling with fresh snow.

Earlier, in a fit of panic for my elderly relatives, I decided to visit the Great Aunts and make sure they were well supplied with food, blankets and heaters in case the freezing weather persists.

The Great Aunts live side by side in two cottages at the farthest eastern edge of the stairlift farm. Great Aunt Ariadne lives in Acorn Cottage with her massive dog Bruno, whilst Great Aunt Des is ensconced next door in Babbling Brooks Cottage with her two cats St Annah and The Venerable Bede, who are religiously superior and look down their feline noses at everyone but especially poor Bruno.

The two feisty Great Aunts are full of good old-fashioned gumption and wartime spirit.  Being fiercely independent they usually travel around the farm and neighbouring villages in their turbo-powered mobility scooters nicknamed Desirée's Dragonfly and Ariadne's Arthritis-mobile.  As I have mentioned previously they are both keen welly-chuckers and participate in competitions whenever they can.

I arrived at Acorn Cottage to find the Great Aunts in a state of uproar. The story is this:

Ariadne had wandered out early for a spot of winter welly-chucking practice, trusting the thick layer of snow to deaden the sound and not disturb anyone. She grabbed the first pair of wellies she saw in the porch shared by both Acorn and Babbling Brooks Cottages. Her habit is to chuck a welly as far as she can and then send Bruno lolloping off to fetch it back again for another try. On this unfortunate occasion just as Bruno returned with the welly clamped in his drooling jowls St Annah decided to leap viciously on his back  - sending him yelping off at a tangent far across the fields, abandoning the welly mid-flight in a deep snowdrift, for all the world as if he had a mob of deer to chase.

At this moment Des tottered out of Babbling Brooks Cottage and bent down to retrieve her mobility scooter key from the welly where she hid it at night. The welly was missing.

As I arrived Ariadne was yelling at the howling Bruno to come back and Des was yelling at anyone within hearing distance that her welly was missing. The Venerable Bede and St Annah were both yowling in sympathy and in the hope of more food. What a cacophony!

"To the Arthritis-mobile!" warbled Ariadne, hobbling speedily onto her mobility scooter. Luckily she had the snow plough attachment still fixed in place and was soon on her way across the frozen wastes of the starilift farm. She headed straight for the snowdrift where she was immediately embedded in a mound of snow and unable to move at all.

"Hold on my dear!" trilled Des to Ariadne, grabbing my arm and dragging me inside Babbling Brooks Cottage to her trusty stairlift. Under her direction I attached a length of heavy duty clothes line to the stairlift and then to the back of Ariadne's mobility scooter, tucking a non-slip bath mat under its back wheels for extra grip. With Ariadne in reverse, Des started to drive her stairlift upstairs adding extra traction which did the trick!  Ariadne's Arthritis-mobile was free. The sisters were speedily reunited and tottered into Babbling Brooks Cottage for a nice cup of tea with a dash of medicinal brandy for the shock, completely forgetting the abandoned welly and missing key. Bruno redeemed himself by retrieving the lost welly, with the mobility scooter key wrapped in a woolly sock still wedged cosily in it's toe.

The Venerable Bede and St Annah looked on smugly from their perch on the windowsill and I gave a sigh of relief. Another lively day on the stairlift farm!

Cheery-bye!

P.S.  A word of warning, dear reader, all events recounted in this blog should be taken with a pinch of snuff and a good sneeze and whatever you do - don't try it at home!!

One Snowy Day

Today on the stairlift farm it is mostly bleak and snowy... However the trusty stairlift van is ready for the off... so never fear!

Adopt a Stairlift for 2012

Today on the stairlift farm we have mainly been considering the fate of our young stairlifts.  

We treasure each and every one of them but the time comes when a young stairlift needs to leave the farm and find a home where it can be happy and fulfilled.


Several of our young stairlifts have moved into lovely new homes this week... but there are others still waiting to be homed. 


Maybe you've thought about adopting a stairlift in the past but weren't sure how to go about it, so here are a few pointers to help you with your decision making.


The best place to start is with a visit from the the Superstair Boss. He will come and look at your staircase and measure up the space, then have a cosy chat with you about all the young stairlifts and which one would fit in best with your family and home. He always brings along some family albums with lovely pictures of the stairlifts. You don't have to decide right away. We'll wait for you to let us know. 


Once you decide to adopt, your new stairlift can often join you within a week!
Once installed in its new home, your stairlift is pretty easy to care for and will arrive fully trained.


The most important thing your stairlift will need from you is regular exercise. A stairlift is a great companion for your journeys up and down stairs, so generally this isn't a problem. Many people also find that visiting friends and relatives - especially young ones - are more than happy to take the stairlift for a ride or two!


Another essential is to make sure that your stairlift rail is kept clean and well cared for. Dust and debris can seriously impair your stairlift from working properly, causing it to croak and whine or even refuse to exercise, which is no fun for anyone. The easiest way to avoid this problem is to regularly use a vacuum cleaner to get into all the little nooks and crannies around the stairlift rail.


Of course if your stairlift is really feeling under the weather you can always give us a call and someone will pop over to see what's the matter. We also advise that your stairlift has an annual check-up just to be on the safe side.


Food for thought?? I'll leave it with you. I'm off for a Friday night stairlift discocoa session! Cheery-bye!


Click here for a Friday Stairlift Discocoa tune... Get On Up...

The North Wind Doth Blow....

Today on the stairlift farm there is an icy blast whichever way you turn. 


The bright sun is gleaming off the frozen puddles and yesterday's sprinkling of snow glistens enticingly. But don't be fooled by the beauty. It is very, very cold and the wind is vengeful as it slices through you.


A big bowl of spicy homemade soup helps to warm our frostbitten fingers, bringing a rosy glow to our cheeks and a memory from our nursery years surfaces:

The North wind doth blow and we have had snow 

So what should the stairlifts do now, poor things?

Just stay on the farm and keep themselves warm 

and ride up and down on their rails, dear things.

Time for a hot buttered crumpet, I think!


Cheery-bye!

Bean Feast

Today on the stairlift farm, I am having my very own Bean Feast. 


The Executive Bean Carrier is busily occupied with important office-y stuff, taking and making phone calls, shuffling invoices distractedly and exercising her nimble fingers on the calculator with great aplomb, so I have sneaked off with Bean for wander round the stairlift farm.


It is a bitingly cold day but Bean is snuggled in many layers of cosy, furry, thermal baby-suits, hats and mittens and could probably survive a stroll around the Arctic Circle.  We wander past the Mobility Scooters' field but they have mostly retreated to the Stairlift Farm Stable where the bales of straw provide some insulation from the chill outside. Mobility Scooters can withstand very cold weather but generally prefer to have a rider to make the journey worthwhile and provide mutual warmth and company. With a snoozing Bean curled against me like a fuzzy hot water bottle, I can empathise with them.  


We make our way to the Stairlift Barn, where some young stairlifts are having a step aerobics class. This helps to build their stamina, and prevent dizziness should their eventual owners be slightly absent minded and forget whether they are going up or down stairs and so keep changing direction. 


Our final stop is at the Curved Stairlift Nursery. Curved stairlifts have to be grown to order and it is a very complex business indeed, requiring specialist training and a great deal of patience. 


As we meander back into the Stairlift Farm kitchen, the Executive Bean Carrier is just emerging with Bean's car seat. Time for another journey for Bean - off to collect the Mini Stairlift Boss from school.


And time for me to settle down with a nice cuppa to round off my Bean Feast!


Lovely!

You Raise Me Up.....

Today on the stairlift farm we are giving thanks for the lovely people who choose our stairlifts for their homes.


One of the most enjoyable aspects of being a stairlift farmer is the wealth of wonderful people we get to meet through our work. When the phone rings there is always a ripple of excitement. Who is this going to be? What will they be like? Will they just ask us to tell them more about stairlifts or possibly invite the Superstair Boss over for a visit to talk about how to fit a stairlift into their home.


Some people believe that their home is too small to allow them the comfort and freedom of a stairlift, however there is always a solution! The Superstair Boss is an absolute whizz at finding ways to fit stairlifts into any home with stairs and our customers are delighted to be able to access all areas of their home, sometimes after being restricted to downstairs rooms for years. No wonder they end up being more like friends or extended family! 


One happy customer recently sang a rather appropriate song as she rode her stairlift upstairs for the first time.......


Click here to listen to a beautiful version of this stairlift-perfect tune... You Raise Me Up...


Here's to all the friends, old, new and yet to be met! Onwards and upwards!

Rainy Tuesday follows Marvellous Monday Shocker!

Today on the stairlift farm it is a very rainy Tuesday and we are feeling chilly and rather damp around the edges.


In contrast, last night we were glowing with delight as we celebrated Chinese New Year and the arrival of the Year of the Dragon by decorating the farm with homegrown auspicious apples and lanterns made from old stairlift brochures. Then we feasted on chinese dumplings and mooncakes, while the young stairlifts did their own version of a dragon dance up and down the training rails. Firecrackers and fireworks finished off a marvellous Monday evening. 


Gung Hay Fat Choy from all at the Stairlift Farm!